Resources for Friends, Family, Partners of Survivors

These links are provided for your convenience and information.  S.O.A.R. does not endorse, nor are we responsible for, the content of external sites.  Please use at your own discretion.

http://www.supportforpartners.org/ : Support for Partners is here to help provide some support for partners of those who have been sexually abused as children, provide resources to develop skills that help partners in their relationships, and provide information about abuse and its effects. The complexities and challenges of relationships are magnified with survivors of sexual abuse. Those who are in a partner-relationship with survivors often need some support and understanding to help them through the recovery process. Our online forum is a place where partners can both get and provide support.

http://www.pasac.net/Partners of Adults Sexually Abused as Children. We gladly offer assistance and support through our experiences, stories and community involvement, to the adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and their partners. The PASAC staff are not professionally trained counselors or therapists.

http://www.pandys.org/secondarysurvivors.html : For Parents & Friends of Rape & Sexual Abuse Survivors: Pandora’s Project
Knowing that someone you care about has been hurt may leave you feeling overwhelmed. Oftentimes both survivors and their supporters struggle with feeling helpless in the aftermath, and it can take some time to learn how to respond. For many survivors, support is a crucial part of the healing process, and receiving compassionate and validating responses from friends and family can make a real difference. You may have difficulty in knowing what to say or do to help your loved one. It’s okay to not have all the answers; non-judgmental listening and simply being there can be a wonderful support for the survivor. Let your loved one know that you care, that you don’t blame them, and that you believe in them. Unfortunately, there are no quick or easy fixes for healing from sexual violence, so it’s important to be patient when the process seems to be taking what some consider to be a long time.

http://www.nctsn.org/trauma-types/sexual-abuse : Caring for Kids: What Parents Need to Know about Sexual Abuse is a  consumer-focused resource kit that contains information and fact sheets for  parents, caregivers, and adolescents. The kit provides parents and caregivers with tools to help them support  children who have been victims of sexual abuse, information on the importance of  talking to children and youth about body safety, and guidance on how to respond  when children disclose sexual abuse. Also included is advice on how to cope with  the shock of intrafamilial abuse and with the emotional impact of legal  involvement in sexual abuse cases.

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/How-to-Help-Your-Partner-Cope-with-Male-Sexual-Abuse : How to Help Your Male Partner Cope with Childhood Sexual Abuse. You may feel like there’s nothing you can do to help your partner address the lasting effects of childhood sexual abuse, but Dr. Howard Fradkin says there’s always hope. Discover ways to help your partner cope…and strengthen your relationship along the way.

Books

What About Me? is for men who are helping female partners recover from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. The book is unique because it’s the end result of the traumatic and trying times Grant Cameron encountered while helping his wife, Liz, deal with her abusive past. If you are a partner of someone who was abused as a child, you will find this book enlightening. It takes you into the world of a child sexual abuse survivor and explains in laymen’s terms how to help, deal and cope with the survivor’s anger, grief and pain.  http://helpforpartners.wordpress.com/

Survivors & Partners: Healing the Relationships of Sexual Abuse Survivors. This book is written for couples (or individuals) who are facing healing the effects of the wounds of childhood sexual abuse on their relationships. It provides both the survivor and the partner an in-depth understanding of the factors affecting each of them and offers a clear guide to working through the necessary steps and issues for healing. A helpful guide for individuals, couples and for therapists facing theses issues.  Available as an epub or other digital formats or check your library for a print version.

Government Websites

http://www.gov.ns.ca/coms/families/abuse/index.html: this is a Canadian government website which provides information on how to report childhood sexual abuse and provides a link to the Children and Family Services Act.

http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fv-vf/facts-info/child-enf.html: this Department of Justice site provides information on what is abuse, preventing and responding to child abuse, consequences of child abuse, etc.

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/publications/nfntsxagrsexadult-eng.php: this website provides an overview of information about survivors of childhood sexual abuse and covers such topics as connecting childhood abuse to adulthood, coping skills similarities and differences in male and female survivors, etc.