In addition to our own recovery, don't forget that there are people who love you. When things get dark, remember that. We are all worthy of love.We are worthy of kindness. We are worthy of respect. ... See MoreSee Less
We had a powerful refresher training for peer supporters, three Saturdays over the last six weeks. One theme that came up on the last day was the difference between reassuring and acknowledging pain. It's OK to reassure someone that despite the abuse they suffered and the stigma they may deal with that they are still a good, whole, unbroken person. But to try and reassure them that the situations and feelings that they are dealing with will just go away, and just try to cheer them up or give them solutions, this will generally shut them down. We need to be able to journey side by side with them through the pain. There is a great video about this (link below). It focuses on grief, but it applies to any of us in need of healing. laughingsquid.com/how-to-help-a-grieving-friend/... See MoreSee Less
You can't heal somebody's pain by trying to take it away from them. Megan Devine of Refuge in Grief has created a truly insightful animation that offers
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, then it is time ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. ... See MoreSee Less
For a period that is centred around goodwill to all, there’s an awful lot of pressure involved – whether that’s to spend time with family, buy gifts you can’t afford, or do things that make you feel , well, shit. Sometimes saying no, or setting limits you are comfortable with, is the best way to ensure you make it through the festive period unscathed.
OPEN UP
Open up your door, open up the conversation, and be open about how you feel.
Don’t stick to your old routine just because. If you’re not into spending another afternoon round Auntie Pat’s why not volunteer, meet new people and create new traditions. Make this Christmas your Christmas. (Bin off the turkey too if you want).
ENJOY
Enjoy what you can.
You don’t have to swing from the rooftops singing Slade, but if you can take a moment to savour that mince pie, laugh at the crap dad joke on a Christmas jumper, or revel in the chance to watch Home Alone for the 37th year in a row, then do it.
LOOK FORWARD
Give yourself something to look forward to. You’ll get through this.
Christmas is only a day. Plan activities and stuff you like to do for January and beyond. It’ll give you something to look forward to while you’re chewing (and chewing) your way through that turkey. Gig, holiday, a meet up with a mate, or a marathon… whatever you like, it’s time to make some plans. ... See MoreSee Less
It’s Christmas, if you hadn’t already noticed from the relentless TV ads, underwhelming light-switch ons, and the slurry of festive invites and obligations. But no fear,…
A great insight into self-care from Brianna Wiest:
“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.
It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.
It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.
A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.
True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.
And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.
It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.
It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.
If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.
It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.
It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.
It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.” -Brianna Wiest ... See MoreSee Less
Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
1 week ago
Thought for the day..... ... See MoreSee Less
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Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
2 weeks ago
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Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
3 weeks ago
In addition to our own recovery, don't forget that there are people who love you. When things get dark, remember that. We are all worthy of love.We are worthy of kindness. We are worthy of respect. ... See MoreSee Less
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Penote Ashini Robyn Michel, Michel Nuna, Nathan Penashue, Brenda Desmond Montague..
Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
1 month ago
We had a powerful refresher training for peer supporters, three Saturdays over the last six weeks. One theme that came up on the last day was the difference between reassuring and acknowledging pain. It's OK to reassure someone that despite the abuse they suffered and the stigma they may deal with that they are still a good, whole, unbroken person. But to try and reassure them that the situations and feelings that they are dealing with will just go away, and just try to cheer them up or give them solutions, this will generally shut them down. We need to be able to journey side by side with them through the pain.
There is a great video about this (link below). It focuses on grief, but it applies to any of us in need of healing. laughingsquid.com/how-to-help-a-grieving-friend/ ... See MoreSee Less
How Simply Acknowledging Another Person's Pain Can Help Them More Than Just Telling Them to Cheer Up
laughingsquid.com
You can't heal somebody's pain by trying to take it away from them. Megan Devine of Refuge in Grief has created a truly insightful animation that offersShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Linked Inemail hidden; JavaScript is required
Comment on Facebook
Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
1 month ago
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, then it is time ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. ... See MoreSee Less
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Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
2 months ago
Surviving the winter holidays with NOEL
www.thecalmzone.net/2019/11/christmas-getting-too-much-introducing-noel/
.
NO
Saying ‘no’ is OK
For a period that is centred around goodwill to all, there’s an awful lot of pressure involved – whether that’s to spend time with family, buy gifts you can’t afford, or do things that make you feel , well, shit. Sometimes saying no, or setting limits you are comfortable with, is the best way to ensure you make it through the festive period unscathed.
OPEN UP
Open up your door, open up the conversation, and be open about how you feel.
Don’t stick to your old routine just because. If you’re not into spending another afternoon round Auntie Pat’s why not volunteer, meet new people and create new traditions. Make this Christmas your Christmas. (Bin off the turkey too if you want).
ENJOY
Enjoy what you can.
You don’t have to swing from the rooftops singing Slade, but if you can take a moment to savour that mince pie, laugh at the crap dad joke on a Christmas jumper, or revel in the chance to watch Home Alone for the 37th year in a row, then do it.
LOOK FORWARD
Give yourself something to look forward to. You’ll get through this.
Christmas is only a day. Plan activities and stuff you like to do for January and beyond. It’ll give you something to look forward to while you’re chewing (and chewing) your way through that turkey. Gig, holiday, a meet up with a mate, or a marathon… whatever you like, it’s time to make some plans. ... See MoreSee Less
Christmas getting too much? Introducing NOEL - Campaign Against Living Miserably
www.thecalmzone.net
It’s Christmas, if you hadn’t already noticed from the relentless TV ads, underwhelming light-switch ons, and the slurry of festive invites and obligations. But no fear,…Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Linked Inemail hidden; JavaScript is required
Comment on Facebook
Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
2 months ago
A great insight into self-care from Brianna Wiest:
“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.
It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.
It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.
A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.
True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.
And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.
It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.
It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.
If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.
It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.
It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.
It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.”
-Brianna Wiest ... See MoreSee Less
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Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
2 months ago
Sometimes we keep it all bottled up, but the most important thing to do is talk to someone you trust. ... See MoreSee Less
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Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
2 months ago
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Survivors of Abuse Recovering (S.O.A.R.) Society
2 months ago
Always remember.... ... See MoreSee Less
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